by Zarifa (@thesmellofaflower)
In fear of my future self-forgetting about what my fifteen-year-old self-wants to do in the future. A future away from my strict religious mother, who forces a religion I no longer believe in onto me. I reached for my hidden journal and wrote a note to my future self to live. To actually live her life and remember me, her younger self, that is desperately waiting to live a life I am in control of. A life where I am free to be myself and I don’t feel ashamed of who I am, whoever I may be. I wrote this for myself, the future and the present, as a reminder to not give in to the pain and not give up.
NOTE TO SELF:
Dear older, future me,
Hey! Hei! God please please please if anything remember me. Live please live for me. Live for me 15 year old me. Fall in love and be heartbroken, go to parties, laugh, cry, be nasty, be dirty, go out. Just please live, live, live. Live for me, live for you. I can’t do it now so please remember for me. I want to do so much. So please I beg of you to live, I’m crying writing this and I kinda don’t know why.