by Esther Ukwigize, age 21
Albany, New York
One day you are going to find yourself at the top of the hill somewhere screaming to the world in pure anger. Tears will be coming down your face, your fist crunched up holding tight to your stomach, eyes grilling forward into space believing this moment won’t pass. You will let out a cry in that moment, stay still and wait knowing you will get no response. Yes, no response. There is no cure or comfort coming from without; you know that. You had to let the world know!
You had to let that shit go, whether you got something in return or not. Slowly. you will squat on the floor. Maybe a friend of yours will be there listening on to all of this. They will walk quietly up to you and rest their hands on your shoulders. Or, unfortunately they will stare in denial because you’ve never expressed such emotion and they have no patience or empathy to reach out to you in that moment…. maybe they don’t know how to.
But what you need is from within and not without. You came to that mountain to switch up a moment. You will then leave, silently, until you fall asleep. You will wake up later on and life will have moved from yesterday into tomorrow. And that day, you are going to find yourself laughing uncontrollably at something you recently heard.
Photographed by Emma Noelle
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